Tie hopes relationship with Belinda sticks: otherwise gender bias in Ontario will ruin him ...

If Tie Domi ends up with Belinda, few would argue he is more set financially for life than he is even after making millions in the NHL over a 1000+ game career. However, one week after announcing his retirement, it could all come unravelled because of the divorce application filed this week by his wife Leanne. Leanne is going after all the money the law will allow - hard - possibly because the law says she is entitled to it and possibly because she is looking for revenge following Tie's alleged affair. That is neither here nor there, but for men with an angry ex, the system can offer a harsh reality check.

The National Post reports that until child and spousal support is settled, Tie Domi is to pay for any costs related to the home, schooling and recreational activities; $25,000 for Leanne Domi’s legal fees; and $10,000 so his total worth can be calculated. She is seeking $15,246 in monthly child support, $30,000 in spousal support, and $250,000 to hire lawyers and experts for the divorce proceedings.

Unfortunately, this is a man who just retired and will experience a "huge" drop in income next year and will unlikely, unless he becomes CEO of Magna, make that much again.

Unfortunately for Tie, the system is not on his side because he is a man. Gender is still the most important factor in determining custody, in spite of Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms adopted almost 25 years ago. The impact of gender preference in the awarding of custody creates other problems in family policy, affecting both child support and access, and often compromising the best interests of children of the marriage.

The principle of “best interests of the child” is important in awarding custody, but should always be applied in ways that give due recognition to the rights of both parents. Current family policy does not ensure that this happens. Non-custodial parents are often unfairly burdened with inequitable support responsibilities, supported by punitive enforcement regimes. As well, non-custodial parents are often left with hollow access rights, whose enforcement tools are as benign as support measures are punitive. This access imbalance can often prejudice the relationship the children have with the non-custodial parent. Because of systemic gender bias, in most cases this is the father

The Divorce Act is federal, but because justice is administered by the provinces changes in family policy can be difficult to achieve and implement without full federal-provincial cooperation. This can be a challenge, given inter-governmental relations and the constitutional implications that are associated with inter-jurisdictional issues. This is especially so with respect to the subtle, frequent and recurring gender imbalances in the awarding of custody in provincial courts. Furthermore, there are those, predominantly women, who benefit financially and otherwise from how the system works right now and there are strong lobby groups that support the status quo. As a result, there is both reluctance and resistance to making changes that would achieve more equity as between parents, and encourage more cooperative co-parenting relationships. The policy as it is now designed and implemented is failing society, and is failing the best interests of many of its children.

Under current policy, custody dictates who pays and who receives child support, as well as who is adversely affected on access issues – mostly non-residential parents and children of divorce. Gender preference in the awarding of custody causes related policies like child support and access to fail directly as a result. Gender preference is insidious, exacting a psychological toll on the excluded parent, exacerbating an already deteriorated relationship between the parents, exerting unneeded pressure and stress on children, kindling alienation of the excluded parent, and leaving vulnerable children to make loyalty choices, all of which eats away at the “best interests of the children.” Successful family policy will only be achieved if gender preference is removed from issues of custody and complimentary steps are taken to ensure fair distribution of the benefits and burdens of parenting (barring unusual or threatening circumstances).

Tie is about to be introduced to the realities that are known best of all by Canadian men affected by divorce. It is no accident that most applications for divorce are filed by women (75% in Canada), perhaps flippantly because some argue that all men are scum and deserve to be "taken for everything they are worth". Policy analysts might find otherwise that current family in policy in Canada creates a financial incentive for women to divorce, especially if their husband's income is about to drop, and that is the real reason for these lopsided statistics.

I wish Tie and his ex his family and all the best in resolving this issue fairly and equitably.